I am sick of being fat… I’m 5’7″ 209lbs and a size 16. I have lost about 20lbs over the last year, but I was never fat until about 4 years ago, and I always thought it was going to be temporary…but at this rate it defiantly will not be.

So I’m going to try and start taking my weight lose seriously and stop with the ” one more day of bad eating won’t hurt…” attitude.

You may be wondering what women in her right mind would post her weight online for the world to see,well I agree it is crazy, but I figure it may make some accountability for myself.  I can’t tell everyone my weight and then not work to get that number lower, I can’t wait to be able to update you with a lower number.

I am also using the site www.myfitnesspal.com it has a great calorie counter as well as message boards for support. If you are also working on a weight lose program try myfitnesspal and feel free to add me as a friend!

My son is 17 months he refuses to talk, instead he screams to communicate.  He throws tantrums sometimes but those are not too bad, the worse is his very loud high-pitched scream that he has when he is happy, or pointing to something (pretty much all the time).  It is so loud you can hear him from across a department store.

He is the kid everyone stares at and whispers “I would never let my kid act like that..” I think he gets frustrated that he cannot communicate better, I don’t know why he isn’t talking yet, but hopefully once he starts the screaming will stop.  Until then I do my best to keep him quiet brings snacks and toys everywhere we go, but if he is screaming because he is happy there isn’t much that can be done!

Please next time you judge a mother and her toddler in a store think about it, usually there isn’t always much that can be done to quiet down a loud baby, and I can’t be expected to stop shopping half way through to take my child home!

I have been putting off finding a new hair stylist for about 3 years now, I know it is a ridiculously long time.  I used to always go to the same wonderful stylist but at about a hundred dollars an appointment and a thirty minute drive it became less and less justifiable.  I have had it done a few times by cheap local beauty shops over the last couple years, but each time it was horrible, the cut made me look like a boy (except for my huge boobs…).

Each time I get down about my looks it always come back to my hair.  So finally when I was up at 5am with my daughter I decided enough was enough, I have  recently lost some weight and I’m sick of not feeling pretty.  So I researched hair salons and found a place near by with good reviews and a reasonable $32 price tag and made an appointment for early tomorrow morning.

I am trying to get over some of my mom guilt and part of that is realizing that moms can be beautiful too and don’t have to feel bad about it.  No, I don’t want to throw money away or take time from my kids.  But I should be back before my son wakes up and my daughter should be going down for her first nap of the day when I leave.

Step one of getting over mom guilt and feeling good about myself: A new do! Now I just hope they don’t screw it up!

My husband and I are both very tattooed as is my best mom friend. So needless to say we get a lot of looks when we all go out together with our kids!  The looks don’t bother me, I expect them as I’m sure most heavily tattooed person does. But there is no reason to make rude comments!

We were all out together, our kids were all behaving, we were not being loud or anything like that.  And an older women walks past looks us up and down and mutters “unbelievable”.  Is it the tattoos, or is it because we have tattoos and children? I am not sure and really to me it doesnt matter if the comment was about tattoos or any other part of a persons appearance. What it comes down to is the fact that someone would feel so entitled that they should make an audible insult to another person, who they do not know in front of their children.

I don’t expect others to like or even approve of my tattoos but is it that difficult to keep it to yourself. As a society I wish we could just remember that one important rule “treat others as you would like to be treated”.

Tattoo itch

Posted: June 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I desperately want to have some tattoo work done, almost all my tattoos are half finished and have been that way for about 2+ years. My husband is an artist and we own a tattoo shop, so you think it would be no big deal to get some work done…

There are two main things stopping me: my husband and my mom guilt.  He never feels like working on my tattoos because he is busy at work and when he isn’t working the last thing he wants to do it work some more.  I totally understand, but the way I see it is he started all this work, he should finish it!

Reason number two: what to do with my kids! I have a friend who said she will come to the shop when he  works on me and watch the kids up there, that way I don’t have to leave them, but I still feel so bad taking time for myself and not spending it with the kids.  I guess this is the same reason my hair hasn’t been done in forever…

Having half finished tattoo work in the summer makes me feel gross, I do not like wearing summer clothes because I feel exposed and unfinished. My tattoos are a part of me and when they are unfinished I feel unfinished.

My Mom Guilt

Posted: May 31, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I have a very bad case of mom guilt.  My son is 16 months now and my daughter is 6 weeks.  Since my son was born I have only been away from him while at the doctors and when in the hospital having my daughter.  He does fine with my husband alone and even did great when he was watched by a relative when I was having my c-section. But, I  can’t stand leaving them for anything that isn’t completely necessary  ( i.e. doctors appointments).

I just feel so guilty taking anytime for myself. My son stays up until I go to bed and my daughter wakes up very early, so I never have anytime without my kids. Which isn’t a bad thing, but I really could use a little grownup time; I am feeling a little worn out.

I really started thinking about this because I was invited to the movies next Saturday. They are going at 9pm and my husband would be home to watch the kids, and the theater is only 5 minutes from our house.  Even though I know it would be fine, I just feel so guilty at the thought of being away from them.  I cannot shake the mom quilt… I know it seems crazy but for some reason I feel like a bad mom every time I even think about taking a few minutes for myself.

I know this is a topic that many are not comfortable talking about, but I’m not one of those people. Maybe if we talked more about it there would be less “accident children” and two kids is enough for me, at least for a few years! So it was time to get some birth control. I am horrible at remembering to take a pill, and not a fan of shots, so I went the IUD route.  The Mirena was my pick, and so far Im very happy with it. It was inserted yesterday, six weeks after having my daughter, the doctor said they usually wait until your period returns, but since I am still breastfeeding and because after having my son I only had one period and was pregnant again, the doctor agreed to give me the IUD before my period returned.

It is a very small device that is inserted into the uterus.  Having it put it was a little uncomfortable, but not much more than a pap. I experienced a little cramping and spotting for a few hours after leaving the office, but nothing major.

My ob gyn told me that I most likely will not have a period with the IUD, especially since I had it put in before my period returned.  It can stay in for up to five years, and if we do decide to have more children we will not have to wait after having it removed to start trying.